If there is to be a time when I'm not talking beer or cider or music (or my contempt for humanity)....

Bloody Mary's. Great in theory, executed poorly so often. I like to think that I'm pretty good at whipping up a tasty BM on the odd occasion. And by like to think I mean do think. And by do think I mean I'm fucking awesome.

So the basic ingredients are very straight forward. Obviously getting the balance is the challenge. The following will also aid you in your quest for a delicious home-grown Bloody Mary...

Rule #1 - The Tomato Juice MUST be Golden Circle. You need a thick rich tomato juice or it just ends up tasting like watery shit. The only thing better than Golden Circle Tomato Juice in making a Bloody Mary is Clamato (therefore making it a Bloody Caeser) - which is a mixture of clam and tomato juice, made in the US/Canada. Australians, you can get it from usafoods.com.au - you will thank me later.
Rule #2 - A splash of either Guinness or red wine (wine to be preferably dry, non-fruity and smooth so as not to fuck around with what you're trying to achieve) is a MUST. And it doesn't have to be fancy - I've used Yalumba Merlot / Cab Sab casks before.
Rule #3 - On top of your lemon and lime wedges, a teaspoon of the juice from the jar of Olives you'd be using knocks it up a notch.
Rule #4 - If you don't have Celery Salt, don't bother. Celery - yeah great, but not essential. Celery Salt - do not talk to me about Bloody Mary's without this.
Rule #5 - If someone asks you for a Virgin Mary, tell them to fuck off.

This was a one time post. Back to beer next week.