In anticipation of St. Patrick's Day, let's talk about unconvincing Dark Lager.

Well it's not quite a stout, and it's not quite a lager, but maaaan...

It's a Monday. It's not the time for pleasantries, and it's about time I wrote something negative about a brew in this blog. Ahh, dark lager - you have so much potential to be so much more but you'll never get there because you're too fascinated with playing the role of Switzerland and treading that shitty line down the middle of the road.

Now the name Köstritzer Schwarzbier (Germany) (the can in the photo below) had been popping up for me a bit recently. It's in my bible and it was recommended by the bar girl at the Local Taphouse so given I had a positive review from more than one reliable source, it was on the must have list. Acland Cellars never fails me, however they only had it in cans which was a little disappointing, though no more so than being denied that beautiful Kwak glass previously.

The Köstritzer is world famous - seemingly the most popular dark lager in the world. All I have to say is - whoever bothers to invest any time and effort into this type of beer is surely the same kind of human being that thinks having that extra piece of peppermint chocolate for dessert is "being deliciously naughty". The kind of person who defines decadence by staying up an hour later than usual. But I digress - Köstritzer is the best of the three or so I've tried recently, but it's the best of a really shitty bunch.

This Wednesday, if you happen to spot an individual with an upturned collar talking about how much he'd like to fuck that leggy blond that just walked by, drinking what looks like Guinness, it's more likely a dark lager. Now don't misunderstand me - any dark lager is still superior to, say, having to consume Tooheys Extra Dry, but at least TEDs doesn't pretend to be something it's not. Just because you have the sexy looking appeal of a stout doesn't mean you're anywhere near that league. You smell like nothing, you taste like nothing.

Also, if you're wondering why I don't blog on the weekends, I'm too busy being drunk or watching TV series' and movies in order to deal with being post-drunk. For some reason of late as well, I'm continually finding myself waking up with no pants. Clearly my drunk self likes being unrestricted and free.